simply, grace

It's safe to say I have taken what some would call a 'blogger's sabbatical'...but I have missed it terribly and so has my sanity...

so here we are! My last post was right after we had our "king mack" and our baby boy is now almost 15 months?!?! GAH. for real though, someone please make it slow down!

my sis and I had a great relaxing time this past weekend just catching up and spending some time together. we had lots of good conversations. during one of our convos, she said something that stuck with me. I was explaining to her the guilt I sometimes feel when it comes to motherhood.

e.g. ....Am I spending enough time playing with him?

do I get frustrated too easily with him when I'm trying to unload/load the dishwasher and all he wants to do is climb in it?

am I preventing his "free play" time by getting mad every time he gets into something he's not supposed to? 

feeling guilty for feeding him the same thing for dinner 3 nights in a row.

wondering if he is getting enough fruits? is he eating too much fruit?

do I read to him enough?

Is he going to require therapy when he's older because I never took the time to make him a baby book?!

(and the list goes on. I literally wake up in the middle of the night thinking of these things.)

as I was unloading on her all these things...she said something so simple. "you have to give yourself grace." wise words. and as I was having my quiet time this morning, the same word kept resonating in my head. grace.

so how exactly does that work?? what does it even mean? I decided to dig a little deeper.

it sounds easy, right? just tell myself  'hey, its OKAY.'...or "you're doing pretty good considering"

grace: defined as something you receive that you don't deserve.
mercy: not receiving a punishment we do deserve, compassion; forbearance.

...the deal is, we don't have the power or ability to "grace ourselves" and when we attempt to, we cheapen it.

“Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance…cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Cost of Discipleship

Instead...we must first turn to the Lord and accept His grace completely and fully then accept the mercy He pours out onto us. ...and because His grace is sufficient, I am freed from this self-induced guilt.



“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."—2 Corinthians 12:9

Making more of an effort to accept HIS grace each day.


thanks for listening, dear friends.


XO,

Landrum

baby bliss

he is here! the last time I caught up with all of you on here I was very pregnant. well...our precious baby BOY has arrived and he is the light of our life.

all the things people would tell me "pre-baby" have absolutely come true. all the dreams, hopes, expectations...it has far exceeded them all. the feelings experienced the minute our baby boy was born are indescribable. I am speechless, except for the word surreal. it was a truly surreal experience.

being a mommy is amazing. I didn't think it was possible to cry any harder at the Johnson/Johnson commercial "you're doing ok, mom" than I did when I pregnant. dead. wrong. the first time it came on after having our little boy I cried even harder. probably because I was holding him at the time and it all the sudden seemed so real.

(the sappiness has remained or maybe even worsened post pregnancy, I apologize.)

so we made it to church for the first time this past Sunday since Mack was born (thanks to my mom) and the sermon was touching on marriage and its reference in Malachi. the pastor reinforced that children should always be thought of and referred to as a blessing and not just something assumed that happens after marriage. he referred to children as the "overflow of marriage." I loved this and made sure to jot in down in the notes section of my bible. just when you think marriage is amazing enough on its own, you have a child and you have a new understanding of love...a love for this precious angel you created together by God's hand and also a new love for each other...knowing this is exactly how He intended for it to be. a beautiful thing, it is.

I am looking so forward to watching our little guy grow, he is pure joy and a true gift from God. I cannot thank you all enough for the prayers and thoughts in the weeks before and during his birth.
I felt them.

I am enjoying this sweet, sweet time off and trying not to take a single moment for granted (even those between 2-4 am ) :) :)

love to all of you.




this is his favorite little face to make...we have no idea why but its pretty cute :)

XO,

landrum

countdown

how do you prepare for a huge, your life will never be the same kind of event?? I suppose you can't. I feel like it was just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant on that chilly November day in the mountains. and NOW, it is almost July (and far from chilly I might add!) and we are about to have a baby! this moment has always seemed so far away, it's a surreal feeling. 

I am beyond sentimental at this point. everything is a big deal these days and I am really trying not to rush any part of this pregnancy.  my hubby said the other day...'I think you are really going to miss being pregnant.' ...his statement kinda left me breathless...not really sure why, but I think mostly because I know he is very right. I pray to not be one of those 'please get this baby out of me' type of women. because I know even though holding that sweet baby in my arms for the first time will be amazing... I will still miss feeling it move inside me and being able to take it anywhere and everywhere I go. It has been all mine for the past 9 months and now it will be time for me to share it with the world. will I be ready for that?! I can't stop thinking about how in a few short weeks, I will never be pregnant again for the first time, I will never get that time back. all the 'firsts' of pregnancy, first baby, etc. will be 'seconds' the next time around. (if the Lord blesses us with a second time around that is). therefore, I am really trying to embrace this pregnancy and enjoy every moment. I have so loved being pregnant (not every woman can honestly say that) and I am very thankful for that. and thankful that the Lord has allowed me to experience being pregnant. it is pretty amazing.  

I apologize for pouring my heart out but it feels so nice to have it all out there. and I think I will love looking back on this one day and knowing that I did enjoy this time so much.

so. many. emotions.

thanks for letting me share. please keep up the prayers as we are drawing near to the big day!

XO,
Landrum

 

the swing of spring

"For behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the Earth, the time of Spring has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land."
Song of Solomon 2:11-12

Welcome Happy Spring!

you have been long awaited for. it has warmed up quite quick around here. and i'm pretty excited about it. I love love that scripture above, I think it perfectly encompasses all the beautiful things about spring. new life and new HOPE. hope everyone had a lovely Easter celebrating our risen Lord!

the hubs and I have been busy little bumble-bees between school and work, etc. we have moved into our new place and are now semi-settled. we are loving it so far! it is nice having a little more space ...although we laugh because we still find ourselves staying in one tiny area of the new place. I suppose we will get used to it ;)

pregnancy update: just hitting THIRD trimester. can't believe it! it has really flown by. I am so thankful for every day that goes by with this sweet little one growing inside. thank you for your prayers, and please continue!!

here are a few of my favorite things this season:

xoxo, Landrum

the knight's have some news!

wellllccommeee back to me! sorry I have been out of touch!

we have had lots of BIG changes lately (and by big, I really mean little!)

...our little family is growing! and the new addition is due late July! we are excited! I personally feel so honored to be carrying this precious gift of life! to God be the glory!

we are also in the midst of moving into a slightly larger apt. not huge by any means, but bigger than 375 sq. feet! :)

this past week was my husband's spring break from school, a perfect opportunity for us to escape and relax before all of our new changes take place. we headed back to one of our very favorite spots, Pawleys Island. good time to reflect and pray. 

with all this news...I am putting in some prayer requests to all of you!

1. please pray for my husband and I as we embark on this journey!

2. pray for our hearts to be prepared for parenthood.

3. pray for a smooth transition into our new humble abode.

4. pray for the continued health of this precious babe (and it's mama)

5. and finally, (most importantly) please pray that this sweet baby grows up to love and serve the Lord

I love this decorative plate that my family got us for Christmas...this little one sure is blessed already!

until then, we are waiting with joyous expectation for our bundle of love. Thanks in advance for the prayers. XX

happy everything!

Happy Thanksgiving! Merry Christmas! and Happy New Year, everyone!!
(phew...glad I got them all in)

clearly, keeping up with the blog during the holidays isn't my strong suit. or a priority for that matter...but I've missed blogging! and you guys! de ja vu to last year about this time.

hope everyone had a marvelous holiday season! I know we did. it was great time spent with family, friends, and traveling.

January is always a bittersweet month for me...so many endings yet so many beginnings.

it is always a little harder to seek out JOY during this particular month...not sure why exactly but I think it is due to the fact that I have so much going through my head. I tend to do a lot of reflecting, and therefore regretting. and taking down Christmas-y things...(this part I'm a little dramatic about). and the bleak, bleak weather isn't a big help either, come to think of it. I could never live in Alaska.

this year is different, however. I feel joyful, renewed, and hopeful of what the year will bring. It is a choice, you know. God has asked us to 'Be joyful always; pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances' (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)...and that is exactly what I will aim to do. so I am choosing joy, even in the month of January.


cheers to a peaceful, joyful year my friends!


"let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts" Colossians 3:15

xoxo, Landrum

fog

It never ceases to amaze me how the Lord speaks so clearly to me.

we made a get-a-away to the mountains this past weekend. the first day we were there, it was beautiful with clear skies. the second morning was verrryy foggy. I spent majority of the weekend curled in a chair by the wood fire stove with my bible and my Lord. (and the occasional hot cocoa).

the devotional out of Jesus Calling (on the morning that was so foggy) was this:

Nov. 16th:

'As you look at the day before you, you see a twisted, complicated path, with branches going off in all directions. You wonder how you can possibly find your way through that maze. Then you remember the One who is with you always, holding you up by your right hand. You recall My promise to guide you with My counsel, and you begin to relax. As you look again at the path ahead, you notice that a peaceful fog has settled over it, obscuring your view. You can see only a few steps in front of you, so you turn your attention more fully to Me and begin to enjoy My presence.

The fog is a protection for you, calling you back into the present moment. Although I inhabit all of space and time, you can communicate with Me only here and now. Someday the fog will no longer be necessary, for you will have learned to keep your focus on Me and on the path just ahead of you.

Psalm 73:23-24  1 Corinthians 13:12

I stopped for a minute after reading the part about the 'peaceful fog' settling in. I glanced out the window at the what would normally be a breathtaking view of the mountains but that was currently covered in a dense fog. and I thought, "wow, Lord. you had to actually give me physical, real-life fog to make me listen this time. ...I truly believe that sometimes the Lord uses subtle reminders, little "nudges" if you will, to talk to us or get us to listen. and other times, He uses very obvious, smack in the face reminders. This 'ole fog was one of them.

now, I am not a worry wart. however, I have been wrestling lately with the uncertainty of the future and what it will hold. the Lord knows this. He also knows that when these anxious thoughts begin to creep in my mind, that I tend to be pretty good about pushing them out and putting my trust back in Him. we humans (well, at least this human) can only handle so much. this wonderful, screamingly obvious nudge was wonderful at settling my mind and calming my anxious heart. and reminding me that thankfully, I only have the path just ahead of me to focus on.

so instead of thinking of fog as a negative thing that obscures my view, I now know that it is God's way of protecting me and caring for me. It is God's way of talking directly to me and saying "I've got this, my child. Take it one day at a time, I am only giving you today to think on for now. Turn to me. Look to me. Focus on me."

so I ended my time praising God for the fog instead of grumbling about it.

I think a lot of us struggle with this from time to time. we like to know exactly what our life will look like and how we will get there. the truth is, we can't handle all that. and not knowing exactly where life is heading, forces us to put our trust in the One who does know. and I think back often to my hubby's favorite verse: 'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Jeremiah 29:11. ....Hallelujah to that!!

have a blessed day!

xoxo, Landrum