It's safe to say I have taken what some would call a 'blogger's sabbatical'...but I have missed it terribly and so has my sanity...
so here we are! My last post was right after we had our "king mack" and our baby boy is now almost 15 months?!?! GAH. for real though, someone please make it slow down!
my sis and I had a great relaxing time this past weekend just catching up and spending some time together. we had lots of good conversations. during one of our convos, she said something that stuck with me. I was explaining to her the guilt I sometimes feel when it comes to motherhood.
e.g. ....Am I spending enough time playing with him?
do I get frustrated too easily with him when I'm trying to unload/load the dishwasher and all he wants to do is climb in it?
am I preventing his "free play" time by getting mad every time he gets into something he's not supposed to?
feeling guilty for feeding him the same thing for dinner 3 nights in a row.
wondering if he is getting enough fruits? is he eating too much fruit?
do I read to him enough?
Is he going to require therapy when he's older because I never took the time to make him a baby book?!
(and the list goes on. I literally wake up in the middle of the night thinking of these things.)
as I was unloading on her all these things...she said something so simple. "you have to give yourself grace." wise words. and as I was having my quiet time this morning, the same word kept resonating in my head. grace.
so how exactly does that work?? what does it even mean? I decided to dig a little deeper.
it sounds easy, right? just tell myself 'hey, its OKAY.'...or "you're doing pretty good considering"
grace: defined as something you receive that you don't deserve.
mercy: not receiving a punishment we do deserve, compassion; forbearance.
...the deal is, we don't have the power or ability to "grace ourselves" and when we attempt to, we cheapen it.
“Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance…cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Cost of Discipleship
Instead...we must first turn to the Lord and accept His grace completely and fully then accept the mercy He pours out onto us. ...and because His grace is sufficient, I am freed from this self-induced guilt.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."—2 Corinthians 12:9
Making more of an effort to accept HIS grace each day.
thanks for listening, dear friends.
XO,
Landrum
